India And The Monkey Man

India And The Monkey Man

BY NANDINI LAL

An artist¿s rendition from the Indian daily the Hindustan Times, two versions of which were published May 16, 2001. (AP Photo/Hindustan Times)

After Kargil and Kutch, India is back in the news again for all the wrong reasons. We are the certified jumping jackanapes of the east. The foreign press - from Gulf News, ABC.com, Reuters¿ "Oddly Enough" section to websites and chatrooms around the world -- is doubled up with laughter over our credulity. Typical LOL message boards read like this: "21/5 Ebony_Trader : I think those Hindus are just smelling each other and thinking it¿s a monkey. Why don¿t they go to a 7-11 if they want to see a monkey man? I heard one singing ¿Who let the sacred cows out¿ and on the flip side was ¿Baby Got Dot¿."

Over 325 complaints and nary a single piece of real evidence you might sink your teeth into. Yet we have a Rs 50,000 reward announced in deadly earnest, the government grilled by the opposition, "cases" referred to psychologists and the central forensic laboratory, paranoid insomniacs forming vigilante groups, our entire eastern district police force of about 3,000 extra personnel on patrol duty. All this, over some tailored beastly tales that have the rest of the world in stitches.

Despite cooling thundershowers in mid-May, our newspapers were solemnly full of hot air. Fittingly enough, "FLATULENCE TAX ON LIVESTOCK" in NZ was the straight-faced London