Pay for work, don't work for pay
Under the"payback formula", television reporters soon will compensate their employers on a monthly basis
AJITH PILLAI devises a modus operandi for auctioning journalistic posts.
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Dipped in Witriol
AJITH PILLAI
AJITH PILLAI
Intelligence Bureau operatives are not known to exercise their imagination while filing reports. But now and then an ember bursts into flames from what looks like a dead fire. Agent Vinod (who calls himself a fan, light, and whatever of Salman Khan and Spinoza) penned this 50-page note after declaring that he had referred to 29 books including a treatise on what ants think of the Brownian movement and its co-relation with almonds stored in zero gravity. Such intellectual and scientific references, the sleuth believed, would confuse his superiors. Incidentally, they are the kind who may well think that Brownian has nothing to do with particles but was a dance choreographed by Farah Khan. Agent Vinod also felt it would be befitting of an ex-IITian like him, who just escaped being the next Einstein by joining the IB, to make mundane things seem like an intricate and well-researched doctrine.
Agent Vinod’s mission was to keep a close watch on TV channels and report any trends that were taking root. Being meticulous, he used every device in the book--secret cam, mikes, and disguises--to come up with this report which was duly forwarded to the Press Council of India where it took all of ten days to move 36 inches from one end of the receptionist’s table to another. Luckily, being a very committed IB man, Vinod leaked the report roping in the services of two young men--Messrs Sources and Reliable Sources. He even considered tapping Additional Sources, a lady of much wit, but she said she had enough of planting stories for the Rabi season.
Those details apart, Agent Vinod’s report has suddenly gained currency because of the recent allegations and counter-allegations of blackmail and bribe involving Zee TV and industrialist-politician Naveen Jindal. So, without much ado, here are excerpts from the report which details repackaging of old news and, more importantly, a proposed and shocking employment policy:
“FROM AGENT VINOD TO WHOSOEVER IS CONCERNED”
Many would not be aware of a meeting of representatives of five TV news channels at a boutique hotel in Delhi on the evening of October 3. From spy cam recordings a gist of what was discussed by the 20 present is here recreated in this summary. Details of snacks served and the brand of whiskey drunk during the marathon meeting lasting five hours have been deliberately not included.
The meeting kicked off with one of the channel heads reading “Rules of Journalistic Misconduct”--a 300-word concept note that he had got written for the occasion. (Why this was preferred to collectively singing Kolaveri Di can only be ascertained after a thorough probe). Next up was a discussion on emerging perspectives in salaries for reporters. The following points were recorded:
*For far too long managements have been paying reporters. It was now payback time when employees will have to compensate employers on a monthly basis.
*In keeping with the current focus on transparency and fair play, jobs must be auctioned and awarded to the highest bidder. The subjective most-deserving, the- first-choice system currently being followed must be immediately scrapped. Under it the selected candidate is paid a salary which only translates into loss of revenue for the management.
*If auctioning is what is finally agreed upon, then tender notices must be issued much in advance. Not-so-tender notifications can also be circulated through the local mafia to attract maximum bidders. The bids must be opened in the presence of a panel represented by eminent members of civil as well as uncivil society. (The latter is perhaps a reference to the underworld).
*The meeting was reminded that it would be worthwhile taking a leaf out of the books of some adventurous channels which have already begun auctioning jobs in States such as Madhya Pradesh, Bihar, Jharkhand, and Orissa.
*The rather tacky paisa-pheko-tamasha-dekho scheme was explained thus by RS, a much-travelled TV magnate: “In Madhya Pradesh I was witness to a bid of one lakh being finalised in one of the districts. The unwritten agreement between the management and the reporter--in this case the highest bidder--was that he would deposit this amount in black before the seventh of each month with the channel’s local representative. In return, four stories of his choice would be telecast and he could buy unlimited amount of peanuts, the bills for which will be paid by the channel. So, for the record, he would literally be working for peanuts!
Now, many of you may wonder, how does he make money? Well, for starters, he is free to resort to extortion and blackmail, which I am told is a sunrise area in journalism. He can also do PR plugs for a consideration--the management permits him to do that. I understand that a hardworking and unscrupulous young man armed with a spy cam can make two lakh plus a month. That’s serious money if someone’s operating out of a remote district town.”
*A TV presenter, with the annoying habit of beginning sentences with “If I may ask,” wished to know if the channel provided any protection to its correspondent. He was told that it was all between the reporter and his friends in uncivil society. RS further explained: “If he is caught, the channel disowns him. In any case, the only evidence linking it to the man with the spy cam will be the peanut bills which would not be taken into cognizance by any court. ”
*The meeting addressed the question of repackaging old news and presenting them as new exclusives. It was stressed that the idea was not to take on politicians and corporate entities with rehashed stories but to entertain viewers with old crime and accident stories with the names of the main characters changed. The general consensus was that the “old wine in a new bottle” formula was workable and made for good economics since it didn’t require any fresh reportage.
Finally, before the meet was formally declared as having concluded, each invitee was asked to step forward and sing one of the many favourite film songs of BJP president Nitin Gadkari. A visibly inebriated lot were later spotted on the Jaipur highway shouting pro-auction and anti-salary slogans…