Vogue video backlash
Deepika Padukone's Vogue video, My Choice, has provoked some surprising vitriol on social media.
VIKRAM JOHRI feels it is misplaced. Pix: bollywoodlife.com
Deepika Padukone’s Vogue video, called “My Choice” and directed by Homi Adjania, is being called everything from “groundbreaking” to “WTF” on social media.
Coming close on the heels of Padukone’s revelation about her depression, the video points to her increasing penchant to speak on contentious issues. The slickly shot video features a slew of Bollywood ladies, as also common women, smiling into the camera, as Padukone’s voiceover narrates the small freedoms that women of this country seek: freedom to marry the man of their choice, freedom to wear what they wish to, and so on.
To be sure, a magazine that glamourizes a certain image of women and perpetuates stereotypes about beauty should not be lecturing us on empowerment. Besides, when a well-to-do group in a third world country starts talking about discrimination, it is always in danger of inviting wrath on behalf of the less affluent rank and file members of that group.
But these are arguments that do not address the content of the video. My focus here is on the derision the video invited for what it said. One rather detailed YouTube comment that attracted numerous Likes summarised the naysayers’ opinion:
“If it is your choice to have sex outside marriage, it should be his choice too. Don't then call him a womanizer or get offended if he calls you a ....because what opinion he has of you is his choice! If he wants to marry a fair, beautiful girl don't call him sexist...because it is his choice to choose the partner he wants. If he wants to marry a woman who brings with her a lot of wealth during marriage for his better life...don't call him a dowry seeker because it is his choice.
It is his choice too to love a man or a woman or just himself or none inside or outside of marriage. Don't ridicule him [by] calling him impotent, gay, tharki and get him arrested because who he loves whether inside or outside marriage is his choice. It is his choice whether he wants to live with his parents or not. Don't force him for what you want because it's his choice and YOU made a choice to come to his home. Don't treat him as a robot that should operate so that your choices are taken care of. HE IS A HUMAN BEING and he too has ALL THE RIGHTS to HIS CHOICE! Also - do not file a rape case on promise of marriage after having consensual sex because he made a CHOICE not to MARRY YOU. Ms Deepika Padukone and girls who agree with this video - make your choice but stand up to how society perceives your choices - because how they look at it is entirely their CHOICE.”
I was frankly surprised at the rancour oozing out of this comment. To compare the choices women in this country must learn to make to those that men too ought to have a right to is to miss the entire point of the video.
The video addresses the poor state of women’s rights in this country. In India, the rights of women, even in this day and age, flow from the assent of the family, community, society, and so on.
In this country, a woman who chooses to love outside her caste still faces the prospect of death. A woman who walks the street at night still faces the danger of getting raped. A woman is still expected to produce a male child. A woman is still called upon to dress appropriately, even when she is wearing something as harmless as a pair of jeans. A woman is still judged for making simple choices such as smoking or drinking. A woman is still expected to be homemaker even when she earns.
None of these issues affect men, so to argue that men should have the same freedom to choose is to state the obvious, because well, men have had that freedom since time immemorial in this country.
Choosing to marry a fair, beautiful girl would be fine if it did not stem from a discriminatory attitude towards dark skin. Marrying someone for money would be fine if it did not come with a history of bride-burning. To make those comparisons, as the YouTube commentator did, is nothing short of odious.
Sure, some of the things said in the video can be misconstrued. If sex outside marriage is ok, it should indeed work both ways. But I don’t think the video is necessarily saying that men cannot make those choices, or even that those choices are worth making. It is asking, rather, that women not be judged for the choices that men make all the time.
How often have we heard of cases where the woman was expected to forgive the man for straying? We expect the cheated women to be forgiving and “be the bigger person”. The Vogue video draws attention to such misplaced perceptions. To say that the video justifies adultery, as some have done, is to overlook the fact that maybe the video is being deliberately provocative so that we are forced to ask ourselves if our definitions of adultery get us worked up only when applied to a particular gender.
Finally, the video must especially be welcomed at a time when we are still debating India’s Daughter which gave free rein to deep misogyny. From rapist Mukesh Singh to his lawyer, the release of Leslee Udwin’s documentary unleashed such virulence surrounding womanhood in this country that it was perhaps essential that a media property come around to kill its lingering bitter aftertaste.
Deepika Padukone’s video may at times come across as overkill but that is perhaps what we need.
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