CAG-ing the media

BY AJITH PILLAI| IN Opinion | 23/08/2012

The Rs 10.7-trillion loss shown by the CAG in the coal scam is cited as a classic example of creating hype.

AJITH PILLAI discovers a new method of calculating losses to arrive at enormous figures.

Dipped in Witriol

AJITH PILLAI

They do like to play games--the folks who serve at the offices of the Comptroller and Auditor General of India (CAG). While their prowess at tennis (particularly backhand anti-UPA lobbying) and playing marbles with golf clubs is known, very few are aware of their other interests. For example, after a day’s hard work one of them--let’s call her Ms M--relaxed every evening for a year by subjecting her wall clock at home to an audit. Was it short changing her or was it delivering 60 seconds to the minute?

Using a sophisticated stopwatch (it spoke four languages and translated Beatles lyrics into Sanskrit and could use swear words in Spanish) she discovered that two seconds were lost per hour, 48 per day, 17,250 seconds in every year of 365 days. That’s 4.86 hours annual loss and the time discrepancy in eight years that the UPA had been in power was a staggering 38.88 hours. Of course, this figure is subject to major revision and correction before its final version is put together. Like all CAG reports, Ms M’s findings were preliminary in nature.

Anyway, despite that, she decided to leak her draft report to the media. Not to any desi guy, but to a Yank publication. In fact, without losing a second of sleep over not being patriotic, she e-mailed her report to Time magazine--now that’s what you call appropriate and symbolic! And a response came within two days that made it very clear that the publication dealt with news by the week and never had anything to do with seconds “although secondhand information (read plagiarism) was the scourge of modern journalism.” The communication from the editor made it a point to stress that Briton Hadden and Henry Luce, who launched the magazine, had nothing to do with either wall clocks or time machines. However, it added the rider that there was no information if their forefathers were at any point linked to the sundial or the hour glass business.

Disappointed at being turned down by Time, Ms M roped in the services of two of her colleagues to launch a new private initiative christened “Cagging The Media”. It involved using sophisticated snooping equipment and hacking computers to collect data on how officials in media houses collectively caused huge losses to their managements and journalists. The shocking report has been doing the rounds among some reporters in press clubs across the country. According to estimates (cousin of that adorable and friendly guesstimate) the nationwide loss ever since Manmohan Singh came to power is at least a whopping 2 to 3 trillion paise. For those who didn’t know, one lakh crore is a trillion and every rupee has 100 paise.

But how did Team Cagging The Media (CTM) arrive at this staggering figure? The idea of presenting the scam in paise was Ms M’s very own. She felt it would reflect the enormity of the sums involved because “the larger the figure the greater the impact.” The Rs 10.7-trillion loss shown in the coal scam by the CAG in the draft report (later whittled down to Rs 1.87 trillion) was cited as a classic example of creating hype. Interestingly, it was not pointed out that CAG had also computed in the losses a large cache of rare Pablo Picasso and Salvador Dali charcoal drawings suspected to be buried in some of the blocks that were sold in Jharkhand.

But to get back to CTM. Here is a small sampling of what Ms M & Co found out:

One trillion paise lost underselling paid news: It was seen that by using the first-come-first-served basis, precious paid news space was allocated circumventing every cannon (the reference here is not to a brand of popular cameras) and rule to those with no known background or expertise in projecting themselves as Page 3 celebs. In several instances it was observed that media executives were underselling space and that too when there were several other more reputed persons wanting to pay more to be covered. One official of a media house in Mumbai even alerted a Tamil starlet (vide reference letter Kola-Veri-D/ June 12, 2012) giving her advance information of when the paid news counter would open for a particular edition. This gave her an advantage over others seeking space.

The loss to the company ran into several lakhs of paise. It is for the CBI to investigate if any underhand money was paid for the insider information or whether the company benefited in any manner and had stashed away the black money in Switzerland or some hinterland in Bihar or Orissa.

The impact of such transactions will finally reflect on the company’s profits and is likely to lead to reduced increments and bonus to employees. An average journalist, contributing to paid positive stories, may have lost several thousands of paise in the bargain.

Auction route the best: Had all the media houses dispensed with the first-come-first-served formula then money generation through paid news would have been far higher. The highest bidder would have had every right (even if he/she was from the Left) to exploit what is increasingly becoming a national media resource. The money generated and what can be done for the media--particularly those who serve the noble cause of paid news--cannot be emphasized.

A notional loss: Any loss can be dismissed as notional. Just as media space can be sold at “X” paise to a client, one can undersell a cow or a bull because neither animal can spell words such as renaissance, intrepid and myopic correctly. But spare a thought for those who are ready to invest a lot more because they believe that the beasts could, someday in the future, chew up an Oxford dictionary and moo or bellow even more complex words.

Transparency, need of the hour: Our perusal of records shows the increasing use of digital cameras. Transparency seems to be a thing of the past. Photographers use easy-does-it equipment and photo editors source pictures from news agencies even if an event happens near their city. While this saves the managements money it does not help those who survive by the click of their cameras. Estimated loss to photo journalists: several lakh paise …

It is yet to be seen if the CTM report will be taken up by the Press Council or by Parliament. Perhaps, it may not have the same appeal as Coalgate, since coal finally turns to diamond both physically and politically.