Arnab returns
Hullo, hullo, HULLO!
Did you miss me?
Really? Now I’m blushing!
I missed you too.
Every moment.
Do you know how long its been?
Six months.
November 14. I remember the day.
Actually five months 18 days, nine hours, 19 minutes…
I counted.
Since those insecure ***s snatched me away from you.
Did not let me say goodbye
So I got working on getting back to where you can hear me and see me.
The universe conspired to make this happen.
And now…I am so overwhelmed! Sob. Get me a hanky…
So here I am. Do you know what really feels good?
What makes me feel incredibly powerful?
Its my own channel! I can do it all my way!
Kick any anti-national butt I want.
And let me tell you, its not a moment too soon.
The country’s been going down the tube.
Kashmir is on fire.
Soldiers beheaded.
The courts are releasing terrorists.
We have to go to war to save this nation.
We have to go to war. Right here.
In these studios.
Not a moment too soon.
And now,
AND NOW
Our political super exclusive for the day.
See this man?
Recognise him?
And this one?
Listen to this phone call.
Listen to what is being said.
Just listen. And to the tone!
Tell the chief minister to tune in.
His coalition partner is being hectored by a mafia don!
A mafia don sitting in jail.
What’s going on in Bihar?
Ladies and gentlemen, my reporters are telling me all hell is breaking loose.
Massive political repercussions.
The BJP is calling a press conference!
The chief minister is in a huddle with his men.
The top cop of the state has been summoned!
I can’t believe the impact we are having!
Republic is on air just four hours and all hell is breaking loose in this country!
What? How did I get that telephone intercept?
Now you are being naughty.
I am not going to tell you.
Don’t look for motives, okay?
Don’t make me lose my patience.
When we roll up our sleeves to take on the powerful,
the universe conspires to give us what we need.
All you anti nationals out there, watch it.
We are coming for you, one a day.
Yes. ONE POWERFUL PERSON A DAY.
You should be shaking in your shoes.
ARRRnab is BACK!
Good night.